Dating Over Sixty
Date Over 60 is part of the dating network, which includes many other general and senior dating sites. As a member of Date Over 60, your profile will automatically be shown on related senior dating sites or to related users in the network at no additional charge. Singles Over 60 - The Best Over 60 Dating Site. Singles over 60 is a dedicated senior dating site for single men and women over 60 to find activity partners, travel companions or your dream lover! With your children grown up and left home, you have more spare time at home. It's now time to live for yourself. Dating after 60 can be intimidating, especially after a divorce. Find out what to expect, how to start dating again & join our community of like-minded women.
When Rhonda Lynn Way was in her 50s and on the dating scene for the first time since she was 21, she had no idea where to start. Her marriage of 33 years had recently ended, and she didn’t know any single men her age in Longview, Texas, where she lives. She tried to use dating apps, but the experience felt bizarre and daunting. “You’re thrust out into this cyberworld after the refuge of being in a marriage that—even if it wasn’t wonderful—was the norm. And it’s so difficult,” she told me.
Way is now 63 and still single. She’s in good company: More than one-third of Baby Boomers aren’t currently married. Throughout their adult life, their generation has had higher rates of separation and divorce, and lower rates of marriage in the first place, than the generations that preceded them. And as people are living longer, the divorce rate for those 50 or older is rising. But that longer lifespan also means that older adults, more than ever before, have years ahead of them to spark new relationships. “Some people [in previous cohorts] might not have thought about repartnering,” notes Linda Waite, a sociologist at the University of Chicago. “But they weren’t going to live to 95.”
Getting back out there can be difficult, though. Wendy McNeil, a 64-year-old divorcée who works in fundraising, told me that she misses the old kind of dating, when she’d happen upon cute strangers in public places or get paired up by friends and colleagues. “I went on so many blind dates,” she said, reminiscing about her 20s and 30s. “So many wonderful dates.” She met her former husband when she went to brunch by herself and saw him reading a newspaper; she asked whether she could share it. Now her friends don’t seem to have anyone to recommend for her, and she senses that it’s no longer acceptable to approach strangers.
The only way she can seem to find a date is through an app, but even then, McNeil told me, dating online later in life, and as a black woman, has been terrible. “There aren’t that many black men in my age group that are available,” she explained. “And men who aren’t people of color are not that attracted to black women.” She recently stopped using one dating site for this reason. “They were sending me all white men,” she said.
Bill Gross, a program manager at SAGE—an organization for older LGBTQ adults—told me that the spaces that used to serve the gay community as meeting places for potential partners, such as gay bars, now don’t always feel welcoming to older adults. In fact, many gay bars have become something else entirely—more of a general social space, as younger gay people have turned to Grindr and other apps for hookups and dates.
Dating apps can be overwhelming for some older adults—or just exhausting. Al Rosen, a 67-year-old computer engineer living in Long Island, described sending out so many dating-app messages that he had to start keeping notecards with details about each person (likes concerts, enjoys going to wineries) so that he didn’t mix them up on phone calls. He and others I talked with were tired of the whole process—of putting themselves out there again and again, just to find that most people are not a match. (For what it’s worth, according to survey data, people of all ages seem to agree that online dating leaves a lot to be desired.)
But apps, for all their frustrations, can also be hugely helpful: They provide a way for seniors to meet fellow singles even when their peers are all coupled up. “Social circles used to be constrained to your partner’s circles, your work, your family, and maybe neighbors,” Sue Malta, a sociologist at the University of Melbourne who studies aging, told me. “And once you became widowed or divorced, your circles shrank. If someone in your circle was also widowed, you wouldn’t know whether they were interested in dating unless you asked.” Dating apps make it clear whether someone’s interested or not.
Even with that assistance, though, many older Baby Boomers aren’t going on many dates. A 2017 study led by Michael Rosenfeld, a social demographer at Stanford University, found that the percentage of single, straight women who met at least one new person for dating or sex in the previous 12 months was about 50 percent for women at age 20, 20 percent at age 40, and only 5 percent at age 65. (The date-finding rates were more consistent over time for the men surveyed.)
Indeed, the people I spoke with noted that finding someone with whom you’re compatible can be more difficult at their age. Over the years, they told me, they’ve become more “picky,” less willing—or less able—to bend themselves to fit with someone else, as if they’ve already hardened into their permanent selves. Their schedules, habits, and likes and dislikes have all been set for so long. “If you meet in your 20s, you mold yourselves and form together,” said Amy Alexander, a 54-year-old college-admissions coach. “At this age, there’s so much life stuff that’s happened, good and bad. It’s hard to meld with someone.”
Finding a good match can be particularly hard for straight older women, who outnumber their male counterparts. Women tend to live (and stay healthier) longer, and they also tend to wind up with older men; the older they get, the smaller and older their pool of potential partners grows. “About half of men will go on to repartner,” Susan Brown, a sociologist at Bowling Green State University, told me. “For women, it’s smaller—a quarter at best.” (And divorced men and women ages 50 or older, Brown said, are more likely than widows to form new relationships, while those who never married are the least likely to settle down with someone later on.)
One possible explanation for this gender disparity is that men rely more on their partners—not just when it comes to cooking and housework, but also for emotional and social support. Women are more likely to have their own friends to lean on, and they may not be eager to take care of another man. “For many women, it’s the first time in their life they’ve had independence—they might own a home or have a pension, or something they live off every week,” Malta told me. “They don’t want to share that.”
Still, healthy men are in high demand in assisted-living homes, Brown told me. And many of the older women I spoke with said that they were desperate to find someone active, screening dating profiles for mentions of physical activity and asking sly questions about family health conditions.
Health becomes a pressing dating concern once people enter their final stage of life. One 85-year-old woman I spoke with, who asked not to be identified in order to protect her privacy, has been dating an 89-year-old man for more than 10 years. His health is significantly worse than hers, and although she loves her partner and says she’ll stay with him, the relationship is getting harder. They don’t live together—a rule that’s been important for her, as someone who values her independence, loves to travel, and doesn’t want to slow a pace she knows he can’t keep up with. When she visits him in his retirement home a few times a week, she can sense that his health is declining. “We had wonderful conversations early on, but fewer now because he’s less engaged,” she told me. “It makes me sad to watch it happen.”
For reasons like this and others, a growing number of older people are “living apart together,” meaning they’re in a relationship but don’t share a home. It’s a setup that would have been less accepted in the past but represents today’s less rigid norms for older age. Without kids to take care of or jobs to juggle, older adults are forming the kinds of relationships that work for them.
Those relationships, whether casual or serious, typically involve sex. Someresearchers have found evidence of a loss of libido in older age, especially among women, but other researchers I interviewed disputed that. Meredith Kazer, a professor of nursing at Fairfield University who’s studied sexuality among older people, told me that only if and when cognitive impairment makes true consent impossible should someone stop having sex. In fact, the annual “Singles in America” survey, commissioned by the dating site Match.com, has shown that people report having the best sex of their lives in their 60s—they’ve had decades to figure out what they like, and as Kazer pointed out, they often have more time on their hands.
Of course, there are physical challenges: Starting around age 50, erections are more difficult to sustain (and less hard), and take longer to regain after orgasm. Natural vaginal lubrication dries up, the pelvic floor becomes prone to spasms, and the cervix thins out and becomes irritable. Sex can be painful, or just embarrassing or frustrating. And many of the medical conditions that are common in older adults, such as diabetes or cardiovascular disease—or the medications used to treat them—get in the way as well, impacting libido, erectile function, or response to sexual stimulation.
But there are plenty of ways to get around those limitations, from Viagra to hormone-replacement therapies to lubricants. And more than that, an assumption that older people will be incapable of sex because of erectile dysfunction or vaginal dryness presumes a narrow definition of sex, limited to penetrative intercourse. “It becomes more about exploring each other’s bodies in other ways that they find more intimate,” Malta told me.
Karen, a 69-year-old in New York City who asked to be identified by only her first name to protect her privacy, told me that sex is great at her age. She finds that men are more aware of women’s desires; if they can’t sustain erections, they’re more thoughtful and creative, and they compensate—often with oral sex. “They’re very willing to do whatever it takes,” she said. Suki Hanfling, a sex therapist and a co-author of Sexuality in Midlife and Beyond, told me that she knows lots of elderly people having great sex; she mentioned one who had her first orgasm at the age of 83.
This is a sharp contrast to what many women now in old age experienced earlier in life. “For a lot of older women, it was sex in bed with the lights off, their nightshirt pulled up, and it was about men’s pleasure,” Malta told me. Moreover, she said, older adults are freer now to explore the fluidity of attraction and gender. Some who have identified as heterosexual their whole life are trying out same-sex relationships that they previously thought of as off-limits.
Older adults who are forming new relationships, and finding new possibilities within them, don’t have all the time in the world. That reality can cast a shadow, tingeing even the best moments with an edge of sadness, but it can also clarify the beauty in each other and the world. I heard this firsthand from many older daters; they were conscious of their limited time, sometimes painfully so, but those who had found new partners felt particularly grateful that they were able to do so later in life.
And those I spoke with who were single were often happily so. Al Rosen, the sexagenarian with the dating-app flash cards, told me he was—for the first time ever—really enjoying spending time alone. Laura Iacometta, a 68-year-old director of a theater company in New York City, told me that she’s disappointed by the scarcity of hookups in her older lesbian community, but that she’s “more self-actualized than I’ve ever been in my entire life.”
So although lots of unmarried older people aren't going on many dates, they aren't all dissatisfied. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist at the Kinsey Institute who helps conduct the “Singles in America” study, told me about two questions they asked respondents in the 2012 iteration of the survey: How likely are you to pursue a committed relationship with someone who offers everything you are looking for in a relationship but whom you don’t find sexually attractive? And what about someone with whom you’re not in love? They found that the single people least likely to compromise on attractiveness and feelings were those 60 and older. Fisher’s hypothesis is that older adults are less desperate to find partners than they may have been at a younger age—because they wanted someone to raise children with, or because they felt a societal pressure to partner up.
Rhonda Lynn Way, the woman from Texas, has decided to pull back from dating for a while. “I don’t think there’s one love of your life,” she told me. “I think there’s love.” And she’s sharing love in all kinds of ways—reaching out to people in her community who seem like they need it, reminding her kids that she adores them, hosting spaghetti dinners for her Unitarian Universalist congregation. I asked her whether she was happy being single. “You come into this world by yourself, but somewhere along the line we get this idea that you’re part of a half,” she said. “You are whole all to yourself.”
Over the course of your lifetime, how many times have you gone out with someone with the hopes that they will be the one? You go out with them and have a nice time, but you don’t feel that spark that you were looking for. When you’re younger, it’s not that big of a deal because you have time on your side. However, if you’re like many singles who are over sixty, you might feel like you’re pressed for time and you have to find a companion sooner rather than later. That doesn’t have to be the case at all. In fact, there are plenty of singles who are over sixty dating again like they were young adults, which is fantastic!
Dating Sites For Over Sixty
With that said, for those who are curious about dating again at this later stage of life, it can be a little scary. Especially if you’ve been married or in a long-term relationship and your partner either passed away or you decided to go your separate ways. Fortunately, you needn’t feel like an uphill battle trying to find love again. Continue reading because we have some great tips that will help ease your fears about dating after 60.
Dating Over Forty
Advice for Those over 60 Dating Again
It might have been some time since you’ve gone out on a date, so you may not be too familiar with how dating for the over 60 crowd works. Well, you can rest easy because it isn’t that difficult than if you were younger. Granted, the “rules” of dating may have changed a bit since the last time you were actively seeking companionship, but it isn’t that different. Here are some tips you might want to keep in mind when dating over 60.
- Dress to impress. First impressions are important, even as someone over a particular age. You want to show your date that you have your act together, and you have some pride in your appearance.
- Know how to talk to someone. As someone who is over 60, dating someone new can leave you feeling lost when it comes to striking up a conversation. Just be polite, considerate, and show them how charming you are. You’ve got plenty of life experience under your belt, so make it work for you!
- Don’t be afraid to approach someone who is sitting alone. Whether you are at a bar, a museum, library, or anywhere in between, if you find someone that you’re interested in, introduce yourself! You’ve only got one chance, and you don’t want to let it pass you by because you were too shy to approach them!
- Always act like you’re interested in the conversation. One of the biggest pet peeves people who are all over 50 complain about when meeting someone new is that when they are having a conversation with them, they seem not to be paying attention! If you want to get on someone’s good side, always show interest in what they are saying.
Dating Women Over Sixty
Why to Choose an over 60 Dating Site to Find Love
Those tips can be used when you meet someone while you’re out and about living your life, but they can also be used when you try any of the dating sites for over 60 folks. You’d simply be amazed by how many people are joining some of the top rated over 60 dating sites rather than leaving it all up to chance!
Dating Over Sixty
Several years ago, it wouldn’t be uncommon for people to be skeptical when you would talk about your intentions of joining an over 60 dating site because you wanted to find some form of companionship. Today, people are more open to the idea of joining an online dating service to help them find love. In fact, among the mature crowd, over sixty dating sites are the preferred way of meeting a potential partner. These sites allow you to meet other folks who have similar backgrounds and life experiences. But not only that, people find that when you join one of the best dating sites for the over 50 crowd, they are more likely to find companionship on a platonic level as well as on the romantic level.
The beauty of joining any of the over 60 dating websites is that the service is incredibly convenient and efficient. Take a moment to reflect back on your previous experiences with dating. How many times did you have to go out with someone only to discover that you had absolutely nothing in common? Not only had you wasted precious time, but there was probably other things that you would have much rather have been doing, like spending time with your family. With online dating, you have the ability to learn a little bit about the other person first before you decide to go out with them, thanks to the search function on the site and the opportunity to check out their profile. Plus, if you do decide that you’d like to get to know them, you can send messages to people you fancy. Then you have the opportunity to say, “I think we’d get along great in person. Let’s meet up for coffee and see where things go.”
Of course, you shouldn’t be taking our word for it. Try LoveAgain, one of the premier dating websites for singles over 60, and get the online dating experience for yourself. What have you got to lose?